Fragments of Self
A Journey Through Dissociation and Memory   

In this project, I explore my childhood memories through a series of altered family photographs, using them to communicate my experience of dissociation and the complex process of reconnecting with myself. By physically cutting out either myself or others from these images, I am depicting the emotional distance that has marked my interactions with these moments in the past and continues to shape my present.    Dissociation has been a constant in my life—a way to detach from moments that were too overwhelming to face. This distance persists even as I reflect on the girl captured in these images. Although I know intellectually that she is me, I feel a profound separation from her. There is a gap between who I am now and the child preserved in these photographs. The only tangible connection I can make to her is through the visual evidence of the images themselves. Without these photos, she would feel like a shadow, a fragment of someone I once was but can barely comprehend.    Colour plays an essential role in this journey. As someone with synaesthesia, I experience emotions as colours, and each background colour in my images reflects the feelings tied to those specific memories. Red, my favourite colour, represents self-love—a conscious effort to reconnect and affirm myself. Magenta signifies the love I feel for others, complex yet deeply rooted. Pink symbolizes sisterly love, a connection full of shared experiences and unique bonds. The colour white feels like an embodiment of nothingness, a vast and quiet space reflecting the distance I felt toward my sister during our childhood. It captures a sense of emptiness, an emotional gap that once separated us both—a void of experiences left unshared and memories not made. Yet now, in adulthood, as I’ve grown to love one another, white also marks the contrast of that once-cold distance to the warmth I share today. It serves as a silent acknowledgment of my journey from disconnection to connection, showing how the distance can be filled with new bonds and understanding. Green conveys peace and serenity, moments of calm in an otherwise turbulent emotional landscape. Black embodies anxiety, a shadow that often compels me to retreat. Orange stands for joy, moments of genuine happiness that pierce through the haze. Yellow represents excitement, the anticipation of something new and hopeful. Navy, for me, is life itself. There is no single memory that I can tether to its deep and endless hue. Instead, it holds countless moments—none distinct, all vibrant. Navy holds life’s vastness and intentie, its quiet and chaotic flows.   Finally, purple captures the love I have received from others, even in moments when I struggled to recognize or accept it.    This series maps out my emotional experience, turning the intangible into something visual and relatable. By engaging with these photos, I aim to bridge the distance I feel from my past self, acknowledging both the voids and the memories I am slowly reclaiming. The process reveals that while dissociation creates distance, it does not erase presence or the potential for transformation. Through this work, I confront my fragmented identity, hoping to piece together a more cohesive understanding of who I am and who I have been.